Post by Elyon on Apr 1, 2014 19:20:44 GMT -8
Trolls: Stultus Saxum - "Stupid Rocks"
Trolls are a silicon based sentient being. The effects of such a biology are that the warmer the climate the less intelligent they are. This gives them the unfair assumption that all trolls are stupid. Of course, fair or not the assumption is true, especially in warm temperate climates like the region that Ankh-Morpork is situated.
It is widely believed that trolls turn to stone in the day. This is untrue, as a troll is stone and remains so both day and night. What makes them seem more stone than troll, is the silicone based physiology of their brains. The sudden morning warmth or hot summer day will render them nearly brain dead.
As trolls age they get bigger and slower and tend to settle in one place to think, very slowly about things. Towards their elder years, they become more and more rocklike. A process that may take thousands of years. They finally die when they stop thinking. This halt in thought is not necessarily due to finally kicking the proverbial bucket, but because their thoughts have finally reached their conclusion.
Trolls believe that they move through time backwards. You can see the past, they say, therefore it must be in front of you. The future is invisible and therefore behind you.
Female trolls use distinctly female names (names of precious or semi-precious stones). Males trolls tend to be the opposite, though still geologically related.
Female Trolls can generally be identified in that they have a tendency to look like sculptures of stone-age goddesses of fertility. Nonetheless, like male trolls, they usually wear little more than a loincloth. Since trolls minimise on clothing to try to stay cool, reverse logic dictates that the more a troll wears, the more erotic it is.
Although the term ‘troll’ is strictly speaking reserved for silicon-based bipeds of the I’ve-got-dis-big-club-wida-nail-in-it persuasion. There are also other life forms of sufficiently troll-like characteristics to be considered as trolls. Sea trolls are animate sea water. The ICE GIANTS of the Hub must also be considered as a kind of troll, as must the artificially created GOLEMS.
It would be perverse of Nature to allow only the evolution of humanoid trolls and, while Nature is indeed perverse, there are other non-sapient (allowing for the moment that humanoid trolls are sapient) creatures that come under the broad stone umbrella of trolldom, although these are rare. There are troll dogs, and something roughly equivalent to a horse is used in the deep fastnesses of the mountains. There are also, surprisingly enough, troll ducks. They sink a lot.
Trolls are a silicon based sentient being. The effects of such a biology are that the warmer the climate the less intelligent they are. This gives them the unfair assumption that all trolls are stupid. Of course, fair or not the assumption is true, especially in warm temperate climates like the region that Ankh-Morpork is situated.
It is widely believed that trolls turn to stone in the day. This is untrue, as a troll is stone and remains so both day and night. What makes them seem more stone than troll, is the silicone based physiology of their brains. The sudden morning warmth or hot summer day will render them nearly brain dead.
As trolls age they get bigger and slower and tend to settle in one place to think, very slowly about things. Towards their elder years, they become more and more rocklike. A process that may take thousands of years. They finally die when they stop thinking. This halt in thought is not necessarily due to finally kicking the proverbial bucket, but because their thoughts have finally reached their conclusion.
Trolls believe that they move through time backwards. You can see the past, they say, therefore it must be in front of you. The future is invisible and therefore behind you.
Female trolls use distinctly female names (names of precious or semi-precious stones). Males trolls tend to be the opposite, though still geologically related.
Female Trolls can generally be identified in that they have a tendency to look like sculptures of stone-age goddesses of fertility. Nonetheless, like male trolls, they usually wear little more than a loincloth. Since trolls minimise on clothing to try to stay cool, reverse logic dictates that the more a troll wears, the more erotic it is.
Although the term ‘troll’ is strictly speaking reserved for silicon-based bipeds of the I’ve-got-dis-big-club-wida-nail-in-it persuasion. There are also other life forms of sufficiently troll-like characteristics to be considered as trolls. Sea trolls are animate sea water. The ICE GIANTS of the Hub must also be considered as a kind of troll, as must the artificially created GOLEMS.
It would be perverse of Nature to allow only the evolution of humanoid trolls and, while Nature is indeed perverse, there are other non-sapient (allowing for the moment that humanoid trolls are sapient) creatures that come under the broad stone umbrella of trolldom, although these are rare. There are troll dogs, and something roughly equivalent to a horse is used in the deep fastnesses of the mountains. There are also, surprisingly enough, troll ducks. They sink a lot.
